GETTING TO KNOW…

THE ACHIEVER

Enneagram Threes are likely to value achievement and want to be the best. As a result, efficiency, results, recognition and image are very important to them. Threes strive for success in their chosen field and tend to be highly flexible and willing to adapt to achieve their goals. At their best, others will experience Threes as hard-working, principled and receptive, offering the gifts of hope and integrity to the world. In an unhealthy state, the Three’s over-expressed need for achievement may seem self-important and inconstant. This stems from a sense of self-worth that is built on what the Three does, rather than who they are.



GETTING TO KNOW THE TYPE THREE

  • Basic Fear is that of failure and worthlessness

  • Basic Desire to feel valued and accepted

  • Basic Strengths are drive to succeed and accomplish, motivate those around them and being confident and efficient

  • Blind Spots are adapting to settings and “playing” a character that they are not while often coming across as insensitive

  • Motivated by accomplishing what they set out to do, having new goals to achieve and public-speaking

  • Drained by constantly feeling as though they need to “perform,” being perceived negatively or repeating failures

  • Best Jobs for Type Three: Entrepreneur, Public Speaker, Motivational Speaker, Surgeon, Lawyer, Investment Banker, Blogger, Writer

  • Ambition: Threes are ambitious and have the will and energy to strive to be the best at whatever they take on. They believe in their ability to succeed.

  • Efficient:The resourceful Three knows how to do things in a way that is efficient and productive.

  • Adaptable: Along with being willing to adapt to achieve their goals, Threes are able to adjust to different situations, people or environments skilfully.

  • Driven: The Three’s high energy and enthusiasm for projects gets things done and pushes others to perform as well.

  • Results-Oriented: Setting goals and applying themselves to achieve these are as natural to Threes as breathing. They are focused on the end-result.

RELATIONSHIPS

IF YOU LOVE A THREE:

The Threes in your life feel an urge to create a facade they believe you’ll love. They do this because they don’t think they are valuable as they are, and thus they resort to performance. This is why it’s essential to discourage shapeshifting in your relationships with Threes.

The Three is energetic and goal-oriented. They are highly competitive and want to be the best at what they do. They want to be the best looking and the fittest in their social circle, and they want to be known as the best influencer in their field. When you go to the Achiever’s home, don’t be surprised to see plenty of trophies they won lined up somewhere visible. The Three needs a significant other to tell them how proud they are about their accomplishments. They need an independent partner, and they can’t stand drama. The Achiever is not the easiest type to be with, as they have high standards and expectations. Best relationships are those that do not place judgement on the Type Three.

PROFESSIONAL LIFE

Type Threes work professionally best with people who build personal connections and those that can recognize their hard work and achievements. They also love a healthy dose of competition. Professionally, they do not thrive when they fail to accomplish a set goal. They do not fare well when they think co-workers think negatively of them. They sometimes do not realize how their achievements can affect others. Thrive best when they are called out gently and lovingly pushed to be their best.

WORKING WITH A TYPE THREE

Communicating: Be straightforward and clear; help them understand what you want or need.

Meetings: Express your needs directly; help designate specific tasks for them.

Emailing: Keep emails concise; focus on addressing the purpose briefly.

Giving feedback: Utilize constructive criticism; help them to feel valued, while also showing them how they might improve.

Resolving conflict: Sit down and discuss what is bothering you; encourage them to consider their own emotions and to respect yours.

ROMANTIC LIFE

Romantically, Threes are open and driven. In relationships they are known to be encouraging, giving, and motivating. Achievers yearn for unconditional love from their partner so they can relax and let their guard down. They thrive when their partner reminds them to step away from work and appreciate them for their accomplishments already. Threes have to be reminded to take time for relationships on occasion. Threes have amazing optimism and adaptability in relationships. They are also very effective communicators in their personal relationships. Enthusiasm and people-oriented energy also keep relationships exciting. Trouble sometimes comes when the Three has a hard time acknowledging their role in a situation. Being emotionally vulnerable with their partner is also a bit more difficult.

HOW TO SUPPORT, GET ALONG and LOVE YOUR TYPE THREE:

  • Three’s love words of affirmation.

  • Three’s are easily distracted during conversations; try not to take it personally.

  • Limit negative talk. Three’s prefer to stay positive and optimistic.

  • Give accurate instructions ahead of time. Three’s love to do things for others, but they want to know how.

  • Remind them often that you love them for who they are and they don’t need to earn it through their achievements.

  • Provide peaceful surroundings where they can thrive; especially when working.

  • Keep conversations constructive and feedback positive rather than overly critical or emotional.

  • Encourage them when you see them growing, honestly expressing their feelings and being authentic to you and others.

  • Three’s become upset when they are being treated as unimportant or worthless.

  • Hold fast and be fully present when their genuine feelings emerge.

  • Expect intolerance and speed in the face of darker emotions and also expect them to tune out negative feedback.

  • Expect them to speed up during difficulty. Slowing down feels like failure.

  • Remember, while Threes avoid their feelings, they still are heart types and are looking for connection. Time spent doing things together, laughing, driving or high energy activities are a way to connect .

  • Share how you feel when they are moving so fast (perhaps doing something productive as you try to have a conversation).

  • Don’t be surprised when you discover things about them which they never shared. They may unconsciously withhold news about themselves or people important to them particularly if it holds a possibility of failure or doesn’t portray a good image.

GROUPINGS WITH A TYPE THREE

To see more pairings by type, click HERE

*Words of Gentle Caution: Keep in mind that much variation exists within a “typical” pattern based upon the level of personal development, cultural background, gender, the influence of other types, and life experience in general. Thus the characteristics and attributes presented for each combination are typical or “classic” for these two types.

GROWTH

GROWTH FOR A TYPE 3

Growth for a Three comes when they can fit into a setting without having to adjust their roles, actions or expressions to every group or setting that they may come across. Learning to be themselves in a group environment is hard on a three. Growth also comes when a Three no longer feels they must be validated by their own personal success. They play characters rather than being themselves.

AREAS OF GROWTH FOR THE ACHIEVER

  • Being more readily able to accept failure from others or themselves

  • Appearing to be more sensitive than what they come across as

  • Being more in touch with their own feelings

  • Worrying less about their personal image

  • Acknowledging the ways in which they have unintentionally deceived themselves or others

  • Finding value in themselves and not in their accomplishments

  • Appreciating the life that they have and already live

  • Being themselves rather than what the world expects or wants them to be

SUBTYPES FOR ACHIEVER

THE HEART CENTER {DECEIT: Important to Conceal Weaknesses and Use Achievements to Project Confidence and Success}

  • SUBTYPE: SECURITY {COUNTERTYPE}

    The self-preservation Three is a countertype in that they dislike advertising their strengths and accomplishments overtly, and avoid being seen as image-oriented. In spite of this it is important to them to be recognised for their hard work and excellence. This subtype is reliable, efficient and productive and aspires to do the right thing. Their pursuit of security and self-sufficiency through hard work may lead to workaholism. Will work hard to achieve success and efficiency for self and the people around them, while maintaining a modest or falsely modest image. Strive to be the ideal model in what they do. The tendency of adapting to their ideal “model” causes them to suppress their own feelings and identity. Has an image of having “no image”. May avoid talking about their accomplishments and can be workaholic.

    Might be mistyped as Type 1s or 6s

  • SUBTYPE: CHARISMA

    This charismatic and enthusiastic Three focuses their competitiveness on supporting others, seeing success in relational terms. They tend to believe 'if those around me achieve success, then I am successful' which may lead them to mistype as a Two. They tend to compete for the attention and affection of those closest to them, and may suppress their own feelings to make themselves more attractive to others. Able to read people well and present an appealing image in order to win them over. See their accomplishments in relational terms. Work hard to support others, helping them succeed. Competitive by nature (even competing for attention of loved ones). May lose themselves in appealing to the “special someone”. Tend to experience a feeling of emptiness, and may have difficulty expressing themselves and be truly authentic. Might resemble Twos or Sevens.

  • SUBTYPE KEY: PRESTIGE

    The Social Three desires influence above all and tends to skillfully read and adjust to the social norms and requirements of teams or organizations. Highly competitive, they enjoy being in the spotlight and confidently market their ideas and accomplishments. Looking good and successful is very important and they may cut corners or cover up failure, so long as the finished product makes them and their team look good. Desire to be seen and have influence with people. Most competitive and socially adaptable out of the other Threes. Enjoy being on the stage. Can be a chameleon. Desires social influence, and know how to talk to people and climb the social ladder. Has a strong and assertive character, and can be good at numbing out their feelings. Want to look good, which makes it difficult for them to reveal themselves completely to others. Might not know or be connected to their real selves and feelings.

CENTER OF INTELLIGENCE

The Heart Center

The Heart Center (or Feeling Center) is home to enneagram types 2, 3, and 4.
While these numbers all seem rather different, they share them same heart instincts (as opposed to the gut or head centers.)

2’s, 3’s, and 4’s all take in life through their feelings (with their heart) and generally respond based on what their feelings are telling them to do.

2’s, 3’s, and 4’s are all:
Concerned with: Image
Seeking: Attention


Underlying Issue: Shame

Each of these enneagram types all deal with shame as their heart center issue. However, each type deals with the shame very differently.

2’s tend to focus their feelings outward (in hopes of not feeling shame)
3’s tend to deny their feelings (in hopes of resisting shame)
4’s tend to focus their feelings inward ( in hopes of avoiding deeper shame)

Advice for those in the Heart Center: Instead of acting quickly based on your feelings, allow yourself to think first. Think about how your shame (which is likely the deep underlying cause of your feeling reaction) affects you and those around you.

WINGS

IMPORTANCE OF WINGS

Understanding Enneagram wings is important because the wings of each personality type affect each type in significant ways and can be used to understand the motivations of an individual further.  Recognizing each enneagram wing’s influence can help you avoid their weaknesses or lean into their strengths when needed. The wings of each type can seemingly contradict the dominant Enneagram personality types they are attached to.  Learning about enneagram wings can help you discover, enhance your journey of self-discovery, better understand others, and strengthen relationships. Once you understand your Enneagram wing type, you can use the knowledge you’ve gained to better yourself as a person by recognizing your behaviors.  This process can help you develop desirable qualities so that you avoid blindly hurting yourself and others.

WING OVERVIEW | TYPE 3 | ACHIEVER

  • THE ENCHANTER

    Type 3W2 are afraid of failing and being unworthy of love. They avoid this by setting and accomplishing goals, in order to feel successful and worthy. Their basic desire is to be admired and accepted. They seek value through accomplishment, which may push them deeper into their work.

    Enchanters tend to adjust their persona to their audience, in order to feel as though they are easily liked, which may lead to playing a character rather than being themselves.

    STRENGTHS

    Dedication to achieving their goals

    Naturally self-confident and self-aware

    Ability to easily connect with others

    Caring deeply for their community

    Being efficient in the workplace

    WEAKNESSES

    Heavily focusing on social image

    Struggling to accept failure from others

    Being overly competitive or possessive

    Tendency to be unintentionally manipulative

    MOTIVATIONS

    Achieving goals or winning competitions

    Building new friendships

    Being the life of the party

    Effectively serving other people

    STRESSORS

    Failing or disappointing loved ones

    Having a bad image or reputation

    Feeling like they have to constantly entertain

    Struggling to balance personal and professional lives

  • TYPE THREE: THE ACHIEVER

    People with an Enneagram Type 3 personality tend to be ambitious, adaptable, and enthusiastic in their behavior. They are driven and love to set and accomplish goals. They tend to adjust their roles, actions, and expressions to every setting or people-group in order to best fit each environment.

    The most basic desire of the Enneagram Type 3 is to feel valued and accepted. They tend to seek accomplishment and admiration, usually expressing this by setting big goals and doing what it takes to succeed in order to earn validation or praise from those around them.

    People who identify as the Type 3 often adapt to fit different settings very naturally, which can may lead to playing a character rather than being themselves.

    The basic fear of the Enneagram Type 3 is failure and worthlessness. They may hold a subconscious belief that in order to be worthy, they must succeed, or at least be perceived as successful.

  • THE HOST

    Type 3W4 personality predominantly take on features of a type three, but share several with the type four as well. They tend to be ambitious, focused, and serious in their behavior. They are very career-oriented and are more introverted than other threes. They tend to find much of their identity in their work and are very task-focused.

    Enneagram type threes with a four wing are afraid of failure. They tend to throw themselves into their careers and do anything it takes to succeed. Their most basic desire is to succeed and feel valued. They may show this by seeking validation of their hard work and successes.

    Experts defend themselves by adapting or changing their personalities to fit their environment. This makes them great communicators, but may also lead them to being misunderstood or feeling fraudulent.

    STRENGTHS

    Being attentive to specific tasks

    Ability to recognize personal growth areas

    Connecting with those around them

    Thinking practically and working efficiently

    Striving to continually improve

    WEAKNESSES

    Focusing too heavily on professional success

    Tendency to face self-doubt in stressful circumstances

    Difficulty accepting loss or disappointment

    Being perceived as overly confident or moody

    MOTIVATIONS

    Personal and professional growth

    Accomplishments and achievements in the workplace

    Feeling validated and accepted

    Forming a deeper understanding of themselves

    STRESSORS

    Self-doubt and self-consciousness

    Repetitive failure or disappointment

    Negative professional or personal image

    Feeling disconnected from others

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