So many times we find ourselves following something (anything really) in our life. It could be the latest fad, the coolest trend, the newest hairstyle, the person who motivates you…goodness, so many things influence our path to happiness. I took the summer off to dig into some things that I’ve been following for a while. I’m not a follower. I love to put my own spin on things. Figure me out. Figure out my path. I do a lot of internal work to make sure I lead the way for not only my children, but also for myself. New Age people may call this self-awareness. ;) I like to think that I know what makes me tick, others tick and what inspires me to be my true authentic self. Sometimes this is easier said than done. It truly takes an incredibly open heart and mind. Sometimes the things you find way down deep aren’t pleasant or “I’m human of the year” type feelings or memories. Sometimes, they are downright NASTY. Where in the hell did that come from? Is that truly how I project or portray myself? Dang. I’ve got some work to do, sista!
I think so many times in this short life we feel lost. BUT, we don’t know how to get from point A to point B without destruction, tearing ourselves apart, upsetting others and flipping the world upside down. How many times have you wondered why you don’t feel complete or whole? I have found I feel this way many times over the years. It’s a slap to the face, really. It’s a “How did I get here?” moment. What’s the answer? Well, after taking years to dig in to find it, I think I finally have some clarity. I just needed to know who I was really. Yeah, I’m me, of course, but I never really felt like I was attached to my presence. I didn’t have opinions of my own and always felt like I was just a placeholder in conversations. I’ve been this way my entire life. I could never commit to my OWN persona or identity. It seemed to evolve depending on the company. It almost felt like a shape shifter. I could never commit to anything…an opinion could be easily swayed by anyone for fear of my having to debate how I truly felt about something. I’m a lover not a fighter, after all! LOL. So, for as many years old as I am, this is how I have been…UNTIL NOW. I’ve done the work this past year and realized I am the ONLY me that there is and/or will ever be. So, why shouldn’t my thoughts and opinions be valued as much as the next person?
Enter the ENNEAGRAM. Ok, ok…hang with me there, partner. Yeah, it sounds like some voodoo witchery, but it’s not. :) Remember all of those personality tests you took in school, out of college or at your new jobs? Myers-Briggs, etc.? Hello, my fellow INFP’s! Where they put you in a box? Where you are expected to live up to what THE TEST says you are?
SIT DOWN…THE ENNEAGRAM DOESN’T PUT YOU IN A BOX…IT SHATTERS THE BOX.
The Enneagram actually shows you the box you’re already in – and how to get out of it.
The beauty is that it goes way beyond a personality system. It not only shows you your box, but the behaviors that you are fixated on, and how to rid yourself of those behaviors that have controlled you likely for all of your life. It also shows you the boxes your family and friends are stuck in, too. We can’t help how we behaved because we couldn’t see it in ourselves. Now, you can truly see how you are on the inside and come across to those around you. You learn to have some compassion for not only yourself, but others. Once you find your “TYPE” based on a number system 1-9, you begin to see the walls of the box get flimsier and you realize that if you embrace what you find you can actually step out of the box. Others also get to come out of their designated boxes. In laymen’s terms, it’s as if someone has totally packed up and taken residence inside you and gotten in all of your business. When I first took the Enneagram, it was for my Life Coaching certification. I wrote it off as another silly, stupid test.
Fast forward six months, this “silly, stupid test” has completely upended my life and changed how I react, treat myself, treat others and has completely changed my relationships with so many people. Those relationships that have changed the most have been with friends and family who also know their Enneagram type, too. Talk about offering grace to people…this is it! It has helped incredibly with parenting, as well. Do you know how to love your significant other? Children? Maybe all those conflicts that you have is based on the fact that you really don’t know them from the inside out. I dare you to take the test and see what happens.
So, back to my original question of getting from point A to point B…this has been my awakening. I know the things that held me back, the things that didn’t make sense as a child, teenager, young adult and now mid-lifer. It is intense. It is so prevalent that I almost want to ask everyone I’m close to what type that they are…you can see it in the way they behave, the reactions that they have and the way that they choose to love those around them. You can see why some are introverts, but don’t come across as such. ME!
This simple tool has proven to really show out in so many ways…relationships, my children, growth of my businesses and truly shows me the path to the AUTHENTIC me and who I am. I’m still working on me and now know I will get to point B…one step at a time all the while knowing my purpose.
I will be incorporating the Enneagram in my Life Coaching sessions going forward starting in November. Also, Enneagram resources have been added to this website…including a link to find out your type. Buckle up and hold on for the ride of your life.
Also, if you are looking for an Introduction to the Enneagram, I will be teaching a class locally beginning next month. For more information, please message.
Stay the course, my friends. Follow your path. We are all worth being our true authentic selves.
What type are you??