Growth for a Four comes when they can recognize and redirect self-centered motivations. Taking some time to reflect on the positive aspects of life with provide clarity. Fours should try to find a calm manner to slow down and help them process overwhelming situations. Also, once Fours realize that they can rely on others to help them work through various problems, growth with take place.


Growth Areas for the Four:

  • Fours always feel like everything is their fault even when they mean well.

  • Fours often seem to be misunderstood

  • The biggest area of growth for the Four is ever-changing feelings

  • Fours tend to pay too much attention to how we feel

  • We must be careful not to over-identify with our emotions and use them to define our sense of self

  • Fours need to learn how to maintain a sense of calmness without being affected by our heavy emotions

  • We are eager to people please

  • Fours become overly involved and clingy

  • If we do not get the response that we expect, we tend to overthink

  • Tend to withhold themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective

  • Typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence and self-pity

  • Fours always want to see themselves as fundamentally different than others

  • Fours are acutely focused and aware of their personal differences and deficiencies



Current Mindset:

You pride yourself in being unique because you want to avoid feeling too ordinary.

New Mindset:

What would happen if you found a way to incorporate ordinary into your life to help gain connections with those who could eventually understand your uniqueness.



  • Stop self sabotaging yourself with your own behavior. It limits your happiness. As a Four, your fear that you are not enough, no matter what you do, influences your behavior. However, don’t forget that your internal thoughts are not the only thoughts involved in relationships. This mindset limits others from being able to show you what they see in you.

  • Creating a “grounding practice” when taking time for yourself can be very beneficial for types Four, Seven and Nine. First, relax. Then, complete the following series through journaling and/or pondering in your head:

    5 things you can see

    4 things you can feel

    3 things you can hear

    2 things you can smell

    1 wonderful thing about yourself


Positive Affirmations for Enneagram Type 4

I draw on my experiences to grow.
I choose to release the past.
I am in the present moment.
I transform pain into power.
I am more than my human experience.
I appreciate the beauty and goodness in life.
I am centered in my true essence.
I am anchored in my being.
I draw on my gifts to inspire the world.
I am happy to be me.
I am joyous in the present.
I have unique capabilities.
I practice equanimity.